I sit here in bed on a cold, wet morning going through my yesterday. My sick baby girl lays next to me sleeping peacefully after having a bit too much cough medicine. I ache to write about the weird peacefulness that's overcome me. Maybe it's growning up or simply the fact that my work and her school know we are staying home today and all is well.
What's this??? A stay at home day with my Angel to take it easy and relax with movies and popcorn while getting paid?? YES!
Yesterday I went on a coffee date with a "new dude" who has recently asked for my number.
What's this??? Me going out again after countless failed attempts of trying to find someone I'm compatible with? Yep, I never learn.
He didn't listen to me once as I answered stupid questions he asked. He never put his phone down, scrolling through lame pictures of guys I don't even know nor care to look at. I asked him to repeat something I had just said - he got it all wrong. He did pay for the coffee but hey, that's why I work...to buy my own stinkin' coffee.
What's this??? I might be actually finding perspective and seeking substance in my relationships?? Doubtful.
The last "boy" was sweet. Loved talking to him. He was so much younger than me and to be honest, he just wasn't that into me. We see each other sometimes while with friends and it's great. I hope he finds a sweet, young chickie poo to play with someday. He could use one.
What's this??? Actually being ok with not being wanted?? Getting all too familiar with it.
The "lame brain" before the boy was just that, an ignorant jackass that actually thought I would be ok with dating a married man. He even had the nerve to ask me "What happened to your face?" in his NY accent. (I was born with a cleft lip that has long since been repaired). Uggghhhh he's exhausts me just remembering his lack of consideration, manners and tack.
What's this??? Saying "No Thank You" to a piece of shit rather than hopping in bed seeking everlasting love?? You bet!
I don't know where this blog is going. All I know is I'm ok today with being single. I have a gorgeous baby girl that deserves my love, time and affection. She also deserves a great father figure but looks like my options at this point are just lousy. I want to thank my God for giving me the insight to walk away from potentially damaging relationships that I would have inevitably taken my daughter through.
One of my daughter's favorite songs is "What's This?" sung by the illustrious Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas. I secretly love it too. He rambles on and on about discovering Christmas town - the lights, the snow, the happiness and love. Something like the rambling I indulged in above.
What's this??? A happy me?? Without a doubt!