Well, most of you know I've committed to training and running (ahem...) in a half-marathon at the end of the year. Plenty of time to get some running shoes and get moving.
First step - join a gym. Summer training in Vegas is impossible unless either stupid or indoors. I choose the later.
My Saturday morning funk lifted after two friends agreed to join me on my first day at the gym. So it was time to get dressed. What to wear?...
After shuffling through the back of the spare closet, I found the perfect "first day workout" attire.
But wait...there's more. To really appreciate the finer things about this day, you have to take a closer look.
My favorite "Fail Whale" shirt, complete with muffin top and camel toe. Lovely.
Next comes the butt shot. Now some of you may have seen my tush in lacy panties on "ThongThursday" but stuffing my hind end into "too-tight" cotton gives yet another visual. (Sorry Coach)
Ok, now on to the actual gym.
I met up with Lori in the lobby, scared out of my mind. A muscley dude opened the door for a hot stripper chick that cut me off walking up to the front. The door almost shut in my face.
Lori and I sat in the dreaded "New Member" room. I felt like I was in the Principal's office. After signing away the next 26 moths of my financial life, I was ready.
Dishtowel in hand, Lori and I set off to get started. First to drop the 5 at the Children's Playroom. 2 hours of child-free workout bliss, here I come!
"Do you have her shot record with you?" asks the all-too-kind gym rep.
Shot record? Whaaaaat? Who brings their daughter's shot record to the gym? Oh wait, this is Vegas, not the backwoods. Here they actually have a two story playroom for the rugrats rather than leaving them at the creek to hold their own.
"Well, no but she goes to school and has all her shots (I think)"
I retort pleadingly. It's not everyday that I squeeze into these pants just to be told I can't workout.
So we "take the tour" instead. We find Greg climbing furiously on the stairclimber thingy, another friend peddling madly on a bike and lots of other fit, hot, beautiful people burning calories and getting hotter.
As we head up the stairs to the indoor running track, I'm thinking to myself "What in the hell am I doing here?!"
Next thing I know, some weirdo is sitting over me with smelling salts asking me if I'm alright. Just kidding, had to throw that in to see if you were paying attention.
So needless to say, this is going to be quite an adventure for the next 9 months. Like giving birth to a new me except I don't just sit around eating chocolate ice cream and pickles all day. I have to actually kick my own ass to do this thing.
Stay tuned and enjoy the show.