Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Reminder

This morning, Roxi and I set out for her morning jaunt in the park behind our apartments. With my books in hand, we closed the garage door and started walking the 100 yards or so down the center drive to the park gate.

I could hear a car rapidly approaching from behind us. I called Roxi to come so she wouldn't chase after it once it passed. It's a 10 mile an hour zone but this driver paid no mind. They blew past me and almost hit Roxi, almost. I was a bit shocked at the "balls" this person had to get that close to us. I shook my head and just laughed at the amazing assholes that surround me.

Then the car stopped, turned around and came back. It slowly, slowly passed us this time and I could see it was driven by a pretty girl with a punky short hair cut and black mascara running down her cheeks. Her eyeliner overwhelmed her eyes and she just looked dazed. At this point I realized she probably never saw my dog and I.

Needless to say, my attention stayed on her. She stopped midway down the drive and got out of her car. She could barely stand. She stumbled and leaned on her hood for balance. She held her hands out to steady herself. She then made it to her door and disappeared, with the car still running, headlights still on.

I watched as the garage door slowly made it's way up. The young girl shuffled out of her garage and now fell as she tried to get back into the driver's seat. At this point, I was making my way back to her. She glanced my way after getting in and closing her car door. Though she was far away, I could see that there was no focus, no clarity in her eyes. As if we weren't even there.

She pulled into her garage and the door closed. She made it. She made it home, safe. Now she could get to bed and sleep it off.

I was digusted. I was sickened by the lack of control, the way she looked, how she could have caused an accident, hurt someone, killed someone innocently walking to work, walking their dog, dropping off their kids at the bus stop.

Then it came to me...that was me not much more than 2 years ago. It could be me again if I waiver from my recovery.

My heart broke for all the people I unknowingly hurt. For all the fear I caused others. For this young woman who was living the life I'm so desperately trying to keep away from.

The reminder...something I needed to see. Something that won't pass from my memory anytime soon.

May you all be safe out there in this scary world. Protect the ones you love as best you can. Maybe a leash for your pup wouldn't hurt either.


1 comment:

  1. Lifes little reminders.. They are everywhere. You are such an amazing person, you have come so far there is no limit to the things you can do. Love ya!


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